did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
