Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
