that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
