I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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