did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just tell him i said nine months
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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