We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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