Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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