i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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