I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
