I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
