I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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