Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
