I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i permit you to call me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize