Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
