eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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