This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
