We're facebook friends in real life
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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