this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
