i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
