Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
