at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
