So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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