get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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