Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
