You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
