Slut skills are useful in every country.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
