He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I had to cum in my sink.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
