We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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