We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
