physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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