The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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