Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
