it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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