Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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