well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
