So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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