Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
