at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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