I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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