i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
