I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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