I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
