I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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