R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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