The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
