I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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