I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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