And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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