dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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