omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its liver damage thursday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
