Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My vagina just clenched in fear
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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