when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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