You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
