Need sex. Gaining weight.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
