Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
