thus making me awesome and them whores
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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