we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
