i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
