I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
