I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
