Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
