I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize