Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
