Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
