I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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