he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
