Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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