so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
