The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
